Existence contradicts itself in the mind. For there is no capturable reason to reality. You cannot control reality. No one ever controlled reality. I never had a say. My voice played no part in my reality. I am a small insignificant molescule to the grandness of existence, all that arises is from Allah, always will be. I have free will it just doesn’t mean anything in the big picture, but it is everything to everything in this reality.