Is this another fantasy, have i gotten lost in another hole.
I wish to be free of my pain in my body I wish to have it all, I wish for feeling safe, being happy and understanding my reality.
I can’t be confused I’m Mo, I’m a destined to the best of them all, my current understanding of what is great is what is great, I am already the seed to greatness, I just need to feel this pressure and make the right moves and watch it subside, then there will only be slight pressures on me.
There’ll be a 0 percent chance of me ever hitting someone with my car, no one I love will ever just die for no reason, if they do the universe will have conspired to give me a resolution. Every relationship with every girl will have an immediate and incredibly satisfying ending, my father and mother will be healed and Gods, I am like Brad Pitt, Epic and awesome in every way.
I will be able to have absolute clarity and precision with executing my sexual wants, no issues at all — my friends from London and my muslim family will all revere me I will be their God. I am better than Bhuddah.
God will give me secret visions allowing me to understand all of reality, then I will wake up and it will be nothing to me. Every response to me will be get a perfect flawless river of poetry — perfection.
Every animal in the world will bow and respect me….
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Because life right now is imperfect, my neck hurts, I’m not filled with energy, every day is a random struggle rather than the perfect flow I imagine. My clothes don’t evoke effortless awe, I am not seen as a God like I could be seen in Pakistan, I wish to be perfect, I wish for others to see me as I see others that I deem absolute perfection. Like my grandad or james or chiara.
Sleep, skin, mind yada yada yada all inconvenient to my expectations. MY expectations of perfection. To be like jesus and socrates in one, to be like how my mum sees the prophet muhammad.